My love hate relationship with the scale

 

 Every morning when I first wake up the first thing I do is weigh in.  I figure having not consumed any food or drinks at this point I will weigh the least, and every day I let that number define me.  If I'm up in weight I just want to kick myself, I should have tried harder, and if I'm down it seems like such a victory.  Hence my love hate relationship with the scale.
  I moved in January of this year and had not stepped on the scale until recently with summer coming I was wondering where I was at weight wise.  So on May 1st I decided to step on the dreaded scale and low and behold I had gained 15.5 pounds over the last 5 months.  I was in shock and feeling very lousy about myself all day.  How did I let this happen?  How did the weight just creep on like that?  I work out at least 5 times a week usually 6.  I thought I made smart decisions when it comes to food.
  The scale takes me on an emotional roller coater ride but I need it to tell me where I'm at.  I know weight fluctuates but I need the number on the scale to keep me in check.  I mean I knew I had gained some weight, I was feeling kinda bloated and my clothes were fitting differently but I never imagined a 15.5 pound weight gain.  I know you read all these things about don't go by the number on the scale, just eat right and exercise and your weight will take care of itself.  I'm not saying its wrong to not go by the number on the scale, but what works for someone doesn't work for everyone, and I need the scale.  The number on the scale does not define who you are, but it definitely helps with weight loss goals.  Its a tool to be used in a weight loss journey just like a food log is, to help keep me accountable.